It's ALMOST CHRISTMAS!

Heeeelllooooo my sweet ones!

I would just like to first congratulate my baby brother on his audition for High School Musical, in which he tried out for a background role and ended up winning the lead role as Troy Bolton, the wicked talented basketball star- turned Broadway-bound, shaggy-haired, Gabriella-woo'ing singing wonder of sixteen-year-olds everywhere. He is going to be like, the Donny Osmond of 2006. Sans the baby blue polyester pants. (Editor's note... to any American who has not seen this movie yet, it is imperitive that you rent it now. It is not only delightfully wholesome and entertaining, the songs are as catchy as bubble gum in shag carpet and you WILL end up singing them for three days straight. Mark my words, baby. Mark my words.)

Oh- speaking of SONGS in my head... Oh my Land o'Goshen! Yesterday I decided to retire the Christmas muzak for one day and bump and groove to another genre on the 20-minute drive to work. (20 MINUTES! Golly I miss the 10 minute, (8 if you're lucky) drive to the dairy!) ANYWAY. I put in a CD that I burned over Thanksgiving break but haven't listened to since... it's mostly Johnny Cash, but I also discovered a delightfully PLEASANT song called the 1913 Massacre tucked in between slightly happier songs on the CD, courtesy of folk singer Woodie Guthry. And if anyone knows Emily, you know already that this song isn't just about any old massacre in 1913... it's about the ITALIAN HALL DISASTER in CALUMET, MICHIGAN. (God Bless their dear souls.)

THE U.P.! It's about the Upper Peninsula. As in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. AS IN MY HOME! Good ol' Woodie... singing and plucking his guitar strings along to lyrics about our Finnish and Italian and immigrant friends gone before us right here in our homeland... it's so dreadfully depressing but so strangely intriguing too! And as sick as THIS is, I was humming along to that song all pecking day long! I mean, really. It's not really a light, happy, pleasing "la la la" song you want to be pleasantly singing under your breath all day, but it like, got the best of me. No, I didn't shed tears, but golly gee, you can't help but REFLECT ya know? The following is a real scenario that took place at the Cracker Barrel in Brighton, Michigan:

Em, happily wrapping Woolrich slippers for a middle-aged man: "Taaaaake a trip with meeee to 1913... to Caaaaalumet, Michigan, in the Coppeeeeer Country... I'll take you to a place called Italian Haaaaaaaalll.... where the MiIIIIIIners are having their big Christmas baaaall..."
Middle Aged Man: "Dear, what ARE you singing?"
Em: "The 1913 Massacre. Do you know it?"
Middle Aged Man, smile disappearing from his dear sweet face: "Massacre? Oh, um, no. I can't say that I do."
Em: "Very well... I guess it's a Yooper thing. 'You'll ask about copper, you'll ask about pay.... they'll tell you they make less than a DOLLAR a daaaaay....'"

As it turns out, not only did my middle aged friend get his Woolrich slippers wrapped for the very low cost of NOTHING, he walked out that day with a very valuable history lesson about the state of Michigan and the U.P. happenings of 1913. And I am sure that, my friends, was the real highlight of his day. I just hope he comes back. Which he probably won't.

Hey, remember that Christmas movie with the Olsen twins called "To Grandmother's House We Go?" Circa 1992, starring the pre-anorexia, pre-bad clothes, pre-bad movies Olsen twins we used to know and think were adorable? Yeah, that's the one. I bought that last year and still haven't watched it, and I'm trying to pace myself at one Christmas movie a day. Yesterday was Home Alone, the day before was Three Days, the day BEFORE was The Santa Clause, and the day before that was Prancer. I have ummm, four days till Christmas and oodles of classics to watch still, i.e. Elf, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (The one and only CLAYMATION version of course!) Christmas Eve on Sesame Street (Ummm.... I really like when they ice skate and I LOVE when Ernie sells his rubber ducky to buy Bert a box for his paper clip chain okay?!) and A Very Brady Christmas, where Mike Brady gets trapped in a construction site and Carol and the kids have to sing "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" for him to gain enough courage and energy to break free! Ohh, those Brady's. They get me every time. It's a tear-jerker, lemme tell ya! Ha ha ha

All right, this girl's gotta hit the hay... hopefully with visions of sugarplums dancing in my head. Happy and merry!